Blonde Joke Questions...

1. Question Why did the blonde write "TGIF" on her shoes? Answer Toes Go In First.
2. Question Why was the blonde pleased with herself when she finished the jigsaw puzzle in eight months? Answer Because the box said 3 to 6 years.
3. Question How do you put a twinkle in a blonde's eyes? Answer Shine a flashlight through her ears.
4. Question Why do blondes have shoulder pads? Answer (use sing-songy voice while rocking head side to side) I don't know.
5. Question What is a blonde's mating call? Answer "Oh honey, I'm soooo drunk."
6. Question What position did the blonde apply for at the M&M factory? Answer Proof-reader!
7. Question What do you call an old blonde behind the wheel of an automobile? Answer An air-bag!
8. Question What did the blonde ask her gynecologist when he told her that she is pregnant? Answer "How do you know it's mine?!"
9. Question Why do blondes wash their hair in the kitchen sink? Answer Because that's where you wash vegetables!
10. Question What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? Answer They're both empty from the neck up!
11. Question What did the blonde name her pet zebra? Answer "Spot."
12. Question How can you tell if a blonde has been using your word processor? Answer By the white-out on the screen!
13. Question How do you give a blonde a brain transplant? Answer Blow in her ear!
14. Question If a blonde and a brunette both jumped off a building at the same time, who would land first? Answer The brunette. The blonde would have to stop and ask directions!
15. Question What's the advantage of being married to a blonde? Answer You can park in the handicapped zone!
16. Question What should you do if a blonde throws a hand-grenade at you? Answer Pull the pin and throw it back!
17. Question How many blondes does it take to make a batch of chocolate chip cookies? Answer Four. One to stir the batter and three to peel the M&M's!
18. Question What do you call 12 blondes in a freezer? Answer Frosted Flakes!
19. Question Why don't blondes eat pickles? Answer Because their heads get stuck in the jar!
20. Question Why don't blondes like to make Kool-Aid? Answer Because they have a very difficult time trying to fit two quarts of water into that little packet!
21. Question What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brown? Answer Artificial intelligence!
22. Question What is the definition of a smart blonde? Answer A golden retriever!
23. Question Why were all the blondes on the roof? Answer They heard that the drinks were on the house.
24. Question What is the difference between Merly Streep fainting and Vanna White doing her job? Answer One is a blonde getting dizzy and spinning and the other is a dizzy blone spinning.
25. Question Why don't blonde secretaries get coffee breaks? Answer Because it costs too much to retrain them!
26. Question Why are brunette jokes so short? Answer So blondes can tell them!
27. Question "What's brown and black and blue and lies in the gutter?" Answer "A brunette who has told one too many blonde jokes!"
28. Question "How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?" Answer "What's a lightbulb?"
29. Question "What's the first thing a blonde hears in the morning?" Answer "See ya!"
30. Question "What do you call two blondes at the bottom of a swimming pool?" Answer "An air pocket!"
31. Question What did the doe ask the buck? Answer "Wanna go into the woods and have a little fawn?"
32. Question How does a butcher introduce his wife? Answer Meet Patty! (Meat Patty)
33. Question How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Answer They don't -- they screw in the hot tub!
34. Question "Where do cantelopes and watermelon go for summer vacation?" Answer "John Cougar's Mellancamp!"
35. Question If you crossed Lassie with a cantelope and a watermelon, what would the offspring be called? Answer Melancholy babies!"

1. Question What does Fiat stand for? Answer Fix It Again Tony.
2. Question How does a chicken tell you the time? Answer "It's Eight-O-Cluck!"
3. Question Why can't a Chinese couple have a caucasian baby? Answer Because two Wongs don't make a white!
4. Question How can you tell when a blonde has been using your computer or word processor? Answer When there is white-out on the screen!
5. Question What's the difference between a blonde and a computer? Answer With a computer, you only have to punch in the information once.
6. Question What did Marilyn Quayle say when Dan blew in her ear? Answer Thanks for the refill, honey!
7. Question Why can't Jerry Brown become President of The United States in 1992? Answer Because all of his constituents are sealed inside Biosphere 2!
8. Question How are Saddam Hussein and Little Miss Muffet alike? Answer They both have Curds in their way! (whey)
9. Question What do the Buffalo Bills and Billy Graham have in common? Answer They can both fill a football stadium full of people and get them to stand up and yell, "Jesus Christ!!"
10. Question What's the difference between the Buffalo Bills and a bowl of Cheerios? Answer The Cheerios belong in the bowl!
11. Question How many Denver Broncos does it take to fix a flat tire? Answer If it's merely flat, one -- but if it's a blow-out, they all show up!!
12. Question Why is Tammy Faye Baker's face like a ski slope? Answer Six inches of base and five of powder!
13. Question What has four legs and one arm and is extremely happy about it? Answer A pit bull!
14. Question What award was presented to the inventor of the door knocker? Answer The No-Bell Prize!
15. Question "What does D.A.M. stand for?" Answer "Mothers Against Dyslexia!"
16. Question What do you call an Egyptian college student who studies plumbing in college? Answer A "Pharoh Fawcett Major!"
17. Question Who's the number one singer in Africa?" Answer Harry Elafonte!
18. Question In a school of fish, what do you call the head doctor? Answer The Chief Sturgeon!
19. Question What sound does a sheep make when it explodes? Answer "Siss--boom--baaahh!!?"
20. Question How do ghosts and goblins get in the cemetary? Answer With a skeleton key.
21. Question How does a witch tell time? Answer With a witch-watch.
22. Question Why doesn't Dracula play baseball? Answer Because he doesn't want anybody using his bat.
23. Question What is a skeleton? Answer A bunch of bones with the people taken off.
24. Question What do you call a ghost with no sense of humor? Answer One with a grave outlook.
25. Question What did one casket say to the other casket? Answer Is that you coffin?
26. Question "What do you call a cow after she's given birth?" Answer "De-calf-inated!"
27. Question "What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake?" Answer "One less drunk!"
28. Question How cold is it? Answer It's colder than a brass toilet seat in a tin igloo!
29. Question Why did George Bush wait until the Friday after the L.A. riots to deliver his speech addressing the incident? Answer Because he wanted to make sure everyone had a TV!
30. Question What's the difference between the N.Y.P.D. and the L.A.P.D.? Answer The New York police like to have a few drinks after work at happy hour, then they go home -- but the L.A.P.D. stay up `til all hours nightclubbing!
31. Question Did you hear that Los Angeles has a new area code? Answer 911!
32. Question How many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb? Answer Only one, but two-hundred applied for the job!
33. Question "How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?" Answer "What's a lightbulb?"
34. Question How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Answer That's not funny.
35. Question How many rock `n' roll guitartists does it take to change a lightbulb? Answer Five -- one to change it and four to say "I can do that!"
36. Question How many Japanese does it take to change a lightbulb? Answer Ten. One to change it and nine to dump the used bulb on the American market!
37. Question How many J***** mothers does it take to change a lightbulb? Answer No, that's okay -- I'll just sit here in the dark...
38. Question "How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?" Answer "One, but the light bulb has to want to change!"
39. Question "How many Teamsters does it take to change a lightbulb?" Answer "Thirty -- you got a problem with that???!!!!"
40. Question How many TV News Producers does it take to change a lightbulb? Answer Only one, but they keep changing it, and changing it, and changing it...
41. Question How many Virginians does it take to change a lightbulb? Answer Three -- one to change it, and two to reminisce about how good the old one was!
42. Question "How many news writers does it take to change a lightbulb?" Answer "Why does it need changing?"
43. Question Who is the Mexican hero who rides in a chariot? Answer "Ben Hernandez!"
44. Question Who is the Mexican cowboy hero who wears a ten gallon hat and rides through the West? Answer "Roy Rodriguez!"
45. Question What did the Mexican Fireman name his twin boys? Answer Jose' and Jos-B! (Hose A and Hose B)
46. Question "What did Mickey Mouse get for his birthday?" Answer "A Dan Quayle watch!"
47. Question How can you get rich really quickly? Answer But 10 female pigs and 10 male deer and you'll have ten sows-and-bucks!
48. Question Why is Ravi Shankar in trouble with the I.R.S.? Answer Because he was caught passing money under the tabla!
49. Question What's the difference between an onion and a banjo? Answer Nobody cries when you cut up a banjo!
50. Question "How many rock `n' roll guitartists does it take to change a lightbulb?" Answer "Five -- one to change it and four to say `I can do that!'"
51. Question "Why is seven afraid of six?" Answer "Because seven-eight(ate)-nine"

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